It’s time to nourish yourself – here’s why
The Self Care Coach
The little voice inside says “I’m not (good) enough. I should have got an A / that job / the promotion / the guy” – it doesn’t really matter what you should have got – you didn’t get it and it’s because it’s your fault.
You’re not slim enough, pretty enough, tall enough, short enough, blonde enough, brunette enough …. the list never ends – you’re simply not enough.
The words you say to yourself silently have been punishing for so long that you can’t actually remember what it’s like to nourish yourself.
Life has been a rollercoaster of bad men, bad jobs, poor decisions, skipped meals, overtime, work hard and play hard weeks that turned into months. It’s time to nourish yourself.
Photograph by Ian Schnider via Unsplash
You find that you skip meals or you run an extra 10KM to make up for the extra dessert you had. You’ll walk miles rather than take a taxi, which would be easier to save the money for something worthwhile. You say yes to the extra work as you want to prove you’re capable and you only had an early night planned so what does it really matter? Sometimes you’ll eat a whole packet of biscuits to feel better and then feel guilty afterwards for weeks.
There are endless ways you’ve punished yourself, but the behaviours seem normal. You don’t feel you deserve any better – whether that’s consciously or unconsciously, you keep making the same kind of awful decisions for yourself. You put yourself last consistently, you can never say no for fearing you’ll upset someone. Exhausted? You bet.
“I wish you were alone, but sadly hundreds, no, hundreds of thousands, of women are just like you. And it has to stop.”
In punishing yourself consistently you’re not allowing yourself to truly flourish, you’re not living fully and you’re denying the world the gifts you and only you have to offer. And more than that – you’re not living fully and allowing yourself to truly enjoy life.
How do I know this? Because I was you. I can tick the same boxes, I said the same things to myself, I hid in the shadows worried if I popped my head up I’d lose it until I realised that life was too short to waste and too long to feel exhausted and miserable.
The sentence I learnt to feed myself with, on multiple levels, the sentence that I credit for turning my own life around was this one, and I invite you to use it too:
Nourishment comes in many forms, but often shows up in the way we nourish ourselves with food.
Photograph by Jamie Street via Unsplash
So what can you do to start nourishing yourself?
Choose your words wisely
Everything, and I mean everything, starts within us. Our thoughts create our words, our words create our actions and our actions create our reality. It all starts with the little voice inside your head that tells you you’re not good enough. Whether you call it your gremlin, your tiger, your devil, your saboteur, “Critical FM” – it has hundreds of names, that’s the voice I’m talking about.
Whilst you can’t turn it off entirely – it has a lot of positive uses too – you do need to learn to have a conversation with that voice. It’s motive is simply to keep you safe, it’s your unconscious talking to you and it simply wants to avoid you being hurt, it effectively tells you it’s impossible or you can’t to stop you doing anything that might create a change in the norm.
Instead of simply succumbing to it, or shouting it down, why not rework what it’s saying to you. If the voice inside is saying “you’re not good enough” rework that sentence into “I’m more than capable of doing that” or “with a little practice I’ll be good enough”.
If you learn to change your inner language to more positive language you’ll see the changes in all areas of your life.
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