Are you already suffering what you fear?
The Self Care Coach
What is it that really scares you?
What is the thing you fear above all else?
For almost all clients I work with, the single biggest thing that prevents them having what they want is fear.
Fear of change. Fear of being alone. Fear of being laughed at. Fear of failure. Fear of losing control.
So many of us are SO afraid of what might be that we never move forward.
But here’s the thing…often the very thing we’re afraid of suffering, is what we’re suffering already.
I know you long for change, it’s time to wake up and smell the roses
Photograph by Neill Kumar via Unsplash
Let me take fear of failure as an example. I know right now, as you’re reading this, you’re dreaming of something. You long for a change.
You’re imagining what life could be like “if” you could have all that you dreamed of.
But you’re terrified of trying, because by trying you might, just might, not get there and failing for you is just not an option. You’re worried what ‘people’ might think. You’re scared you’ll be judged. You’re also petrified that your own high standards won’t be met.
And so, you do nothing at all.
Because if you tried and failed, well you’d be right back to where you are now.
Which is exactly the same place that you’re terrified of being if you don’t succeed.
“Often the very thing we’re afraid of suffering is what we’re suffering already.”
Let me say it again.
What you are afraid you’ll suffer is EXACTLY what you’re suffering now.
And when you realise that almost anything is possible.
When the fear goes, anything is possible
Photograph by Julia Caesar via Unsplash
My clients’ story
I worked with Amy* recently who had dreamed of a different calling in her life. She was stuck, frustrated and feeling unfulfilled in her current role. It impacted her life at home, her self-esteem and her feeling of success. When we looked at what was keeping her stuck she said she was terrified of starting a new career and it creating a job that left her feeling stuck, frustrated, unfilled and lacking in self-esteem and confidence or that failed and meant she had to keep doing what she was already doing.
I resonate. For literally years I was terrified of losing control. I controlled every aspect of my life to the point where it became a habit.
Eventually, the habit was so strong I had no control over it. I was exactly where I had tried to escape – I was in a place of overwhelm and was entirely out of control.
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